Boundaries

You know what I think is a huge problem with young girls today? Some of them don't understand the importance of boundaries. Often I will hear stories about girls ages 14-20 (and sometimes older, unfortunately) who call and text their boyfriends constantly. And when I say constantly, I mean incessant "lol"s and "haha"s and "so wat you doin"s and "i'm bored"s...it just never stops, and you can't blame the poor guys for feeling smothered. And as if that weren't bad enough, these text message terrorizing girls are also the type who will often beg their boyfriends to see them everyday and then have the audacity to get all huffy when he says "no, I have other plans" or if--God forbid--he steps back and tries to take a breather. I hear all these things and I'm over here like: "Are you freaking kidding me?" If someone did that to me I would end up lashing out at them eventually. Why? Because I need me time, damn it! I love Eric, but if he tried to get me to spend hours with him everyday I would say no, absolutely not. You need time to do your thing and I need time to do mine. Yes, we are in solid, committed relationship (one that I am certain will last the rest of our lives) but being someone's significant other does not mean that you need to spend every moment of your life with them. It doesn't mean that you need to have all the same interests and do all the same activities. Being someone's "other half" does not mean that you should become that person. In fact, I strongly advise that you don't. You need to be you whether you are single or in a relationship. Having the ability to do this, I think, is the unmistakable mark of an emotionally mature woman.   

On Knowing Yourself

One of the most important things in life, I think, is to know yourself. I say this because over the years people are going to have lots of opinions about you. Some of those opinions you will hear upfront, while others you will hear whispered behind your back, and I hate to break it to you, but not all of those opinions are going to be favorable. Obviously some people will speak well of you, but others are going to say cruel, terrible and sometimes completely false things about you and your character. This is something that we all go through, and the fact is that we cannot control what other people think. We just...can't. I'm sorry, but it’s impossible, and if you try to do so you will only drive yourself mad. Therefore, I feel it is important that we attempt to control not so much what we hear, but how we handle what we hear. Knowing who you are will enable you to have a much clearer idea as to who you ought to take seriously and who you ought to dismiss.